This year, I closed a chapter of my life that began way back in 1993.

My youngest child, Sarah, graduated.

That means after 33 years of homeschooling 12 children—six boys and six girls—I am officially finished homeschooling.

It still feels strange to say that.

For more than three decades, homeschooling was simply part of our family’s life. There were babies and toddlers underfoot, books everywhere, lessons around the kitchen table, teenagers finding their way, field trips, projects, good days, hard days, and plenty of days when life itself became the lesson.

I certainly didn’t do everything right.

Looking back, some of the things I did when I first started actually make me laugh now. But I was doing what most of us do as parents—I was trying to figure it out as I went along and do what I thought was best for my children.

Now that I’m on the other side of those 33 years, there are things I understand that I couldn’t possibly have known when I started.

If I could sit down with that younger version of myself today, there is a lot I would tell her.

I Thought I Could Solve the Curriculum Problem

When I first started homeschooling, my children were young, and I wanted to make sure I had everything we could possibly need.

I thought I had come up with the perfect solution to the curriculum problem.

I would just buy everything.

Every month, I bought more curriculum.

And more.

And more.

Eventually, I had curriculum from Pre-K all the way through 12th grade.

I remember thinking, There. I’ve got this covered.

No matter what grade my children reached, I already had what we needed.

There was just one little problem with my brilliant plan.

Every child learns differently.

With 12 children, I certainly had plenty of opportunities to learn that lesson!

Something that worked beautifully for one child might not work at all for the next. One child might understand something immediately while another needed to see it, hear it, touch it, or approach it in a completely different way.

I eventually realized that shelves full of curriculum didn’t mean I had every child covered.

The curriculum wasn’t the answer.

Knowing my child was.

There is no perfect curriculum that will work for every child in every season. Curriculum is a tool. If the tool isn’t working, you can change it.

That isn’t failing.

That’s homeschooling.

In the Beginning, We Really Did “School at Home”

For the first few years, I thought homeschooling was supposed to look a lot like regular school.

So that’s what I created.

I set up desks. I made school rooms. And we “did school” all the time.

At one point, we were doing school six days a week.

I thought more school must mean more learning.

Eventually, I learned to relax.

We pulled back to four or five days a week. I started allowing weekends to actually be weekends. We took summers off.

And I discovered something that surprised me.

Taking time off actually helped my children learn more.

Have you ever struggled and struggled to understand something yourself until you finally had to walk away from it?

Then you come back later and suddenly…

It clicks.

I began seeing the same thing happen with my children.

Sometimes their brains needed a break.

Rest wasn’t wasted time.

Play wasn’t wasted time.

Summer wasn’t wasted time.

Children are naturally learning all the time, even when nobody is standing over them with a workbook.

I wish I had understood that sooner.

Some of the Best Learning Doesn’t Look Like School

The longer I homeschooled, the more I realized how much learning was happening when we weren’t officially “doing school.”

Learning happened while we cooked.

It happened in the garden.

It happened while shopping for groceries, managing money, caring for younger siblings, working on projects, taking trips, reading books, asking questions, and figuring out everyday problems.

Those weren’t interruptions to their education.

They were part of their education.

Think about how much a child can learn just by helping prepare a meal.

There’s reading, fractions, measurements, following directions, time management, problem-solving—and hopefully something good to eat when you’re finished!

A trip to the grocery store can teach math, budgeting, comparison shopping, and decision-making.

Growing something in the garden can turn into science without anyone ever opening a science textbook.

The longer I homeschooled, the less concerned I became with whether learning looked like school.

I became much more interested in whether my children were actually learning.

People Had Some Funny Ideas About Homeschooling

Homeschooling wasn’t nearly as common when I started in 1993 as it is today.

And people would say some of the weirdest things to me.

One of my favorites was:

“Your kids don’t go to school? Wow, you’re so lucky because you don’t have to buy school clothes!”

My response?

“Nope. I make them do school naked.” 😂

Obviously, I was joking!

Sometimes you just had to laugh at the things people thought homeschooling meant.

There was also the idea that homeschooled children were stuck inside the house all day.

One time, one of my daughter’s cousins was making fun of her for being homeschooled and said something about her being stuck inside.

My daughter’s response was perfect:

“I do my work up in a tree.”

And unlike her mother’s naked-school comment, she wasn’t joking. 😂

She really did take her schoolwork up into a tree.

Why couldn’t a child read a book outside?

Why couldn’t we take advantage of a beautiful afternoon?

Why did learning have to happen at a desk just because that’s where I had been taught that school happened?

Sometimes our homeschool happened around the kitchen table.

Sometimes it happened in the car.

Sometimes it happened outside.

And apparently, sometimes it happened up a tree.

Twelve Children Taught Me There Is No One Right Way to Learn

If homeschooling 12 children taught me anything, it’s that children are individuals.

They don’t all learn to read at exactly the same age.

They don’t all love the same subjects.

They don’t struggle with the same things.

They aren’t motivated in the same way.

And they definitely don’t all learn best from the same curriculum.

It can be so easy to compare.

Is my child ahead?

Is my child behind?

Should they know this already?

What is everybody else’s child doing?

After all these years, I think a much better question is:

What does this child need right now?

That’s one of the greatest gifts homeschooling can give us—the opportunity to really know the child we’re teaching.

I Would Have Followed Their Interests More

If I could go back, I would pay even more attention to what each child naturally wanted to learn.

When a child becomes interested in something, it’s amazing how much they can learn because they want to know more.

I’d worry less about whether every interest fit neatly into the plan I had written down.

I’d ask more questions.

I’d find the books.

I’d help them look for answers.

I’d give them more opportunities to explore.

I’d let their curiosity lead us more often.

That doesn’t mean children never need to learn something they aren’t particularly interested in. Of course they do.

But education doesn’t have to be limited to a list of things adults have decided children should know.

Sometimes a child’s simple question can lead you down a learning path you never planned.

Those can become some of the lessons they remember the longest.

I Would Keep Quiet Longer

This might be one of the biggest things I would change if I could start again.

I would have more patience.

I wouldn’t push so hard.

As parents, it’s easy to jump in when our children are struggling.

We explain again.

We give another hint.

We correct them.

We tell them what to do next.

We want to help.

But sometimes I think I helped too quickly.

If I could go back, I would keep quiet longer.

I’d give them more time to think.

I’d let them struggle with a problem a little longer.

I’d wait to see what they could come up with on their own before jumping in with the answer.

Because sometimes children need us to teach them.

And sometimes they need us to get out of the way long enough to discover:

I can figure this out.

That’s an important lesson too.

Life Skills Are Part of Education

If I could encourage younger homeschool parents in one area, it would be this:

Teach your children how to live, not just how to pass a test.

Teach them to cook.

Teach them to clean.

Teach them to manage money.

Teach them to comparison shop.

Teach them to make a phone call.

Teach them to work.

Teach them to solve problems.

Teach them to help someone who needs help.

And teach them how to find information when they don’t know something.

Eventually, our children become adults.

Academics matter, of course.

But knowing how to navigate real life matters too.

Some of the most important lessons we taught didn’t come from a textbook.

Your Homeschool Doesn’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s

There will always be another homeschool family doing something differently.

Someone will use a curriculum you don’t use.

Someone’s child will read earlier.

Someone will have an amazing homeschool room.

Someone will have a color-coded schedule that actually seems to work.

Meanwhile, you may be trying to find the math book underneath a pile of laundry while somebody asks what’s for lunch.

That’s okay.

Take ideas from other homeschool families.

Learn from them.

Ask questions.

Try new things.

But don’t spend your children’s childhood trying to recreate someone else’s homeschool.

Build the homeschool that works for your family.

Don’t Miss the Childhood While You’re Managing the Homeschool

This lesson feels different now that I’m finished.

When you’re in the middle of homeschooling, you’re thinking about today’s math lesson.

You’re wondering if you’re behind.

You’re trying to get dinner made.

Someone can’t find a pencil even though you know you’ve purchased approximately 14 million of them over the years.

There is always something else to do.

And then somehow…

The years pass.

The little child sitting beside you struggling to read becomes an adult.

The teenagers grow up.

The house changes.

And eventually, the last one graduates.

There will always be another worksheet.

There won’t always be another Tuesday afternoon with your children around the kitchen table.

Take the field trip.

Read the extra chapter.

Bake something together.

Go outside on the beautiful afternoon.

Listen when your teenager suddenly decides they want to talk—even if it isn’t the most convenient time.

Let them climb the tree with their schoolbook.

Those moments matter too.

It’s Okay to Be Nervous About Homeschooling

Jumping into homeschooling isn’t an easy decision.

I think sometimes people look at someone who has homeschooled for decades and assume we must have started out completely confident.

I certainly wasn’t.

Most of us are nervous when we start.

We worry.

Can I really teach my children?

What if I choose the wrong curriculum?

What if they get behind?

What if this doesn’t work?

And then there’s probably one of the biggest fears of all:

What if I mess this up and ruin my children’s lives?

When you love your children, those fears can feel very real.

So if you’re reading this because you’re considering homeschooling and you’re scared to take that first step, here’s what this mom of 12 would tell you after 33 years:

Go for it.

You don’t need to have the next 12 years figured out before you start.

You don’t need shelves filled with Pre-K through 12th-grade curriculum.

Trust me on that one. 😂

You don’t have to know exactly what your homeschool will look like next year, let alone ten years from now.

No one knows your children better than you do.

You know their personalities.

You know what excites them.

You know where they struggle.

You know when something isn’t working.

And homeschooling isn’t an irreversible decision.

If you try it and discover that homeschooling isn’t working for your child or your family, you can make another choice.

You can look at private school.

You can enroll your child in public school.

You can reevaluate what your family needs and change direction.

Changing direction isn’t failing either.

You aren’t signing a contract that says once you homeschool, you must homeschool forever.

Give yourself permission to try.

Give yourself permission to learn.

And give yourself permission to change your mind if your family needs something different.

You don’t have to be completely confident to begin.

You just have to be willing to take the first step.

If I Could Go Back to 1993

If I could sit across the table from the younger version of myself—the mom setting up desks, doing school six days a week, and buying enough curriculum to educate children from Pre-K through graduation—I think I would smile.

I wouldn’t tell her she was doing everything wrong.

She loved her children and was doing what she thought was best.

But I would tell her:

Relax.

Be more patient.

Don’t push so hard.

Keep quiet a little longer and see what they figure out.

Follow their interests more.

Don’t be afraid to change curriculum.

Take weekends off.

Take summers off.

Let them play.

Let them explore.

Let learning happen in places you didn’t plan.

And don’t worry quite so much.

They’re learning more than you think.

And so are you.

And Then the Last One Graduated

This year, Sarah graduated, and my homeschooling career officially came to an end.

From 1993 to 2026.

Thirty-three years. Twelve children.

That’s a lot of curriculum.

A lot of books.

A lot of lessons.

A lot of mistakes.

A lot of laughter.

And a whole lot of life.

Now my children are grown. Our family has continued to grow, and there are grandchildren running around too.

When I look back, I don’t measure those 33 years by how many workbooks we finished.

I think about the people my children became.

I think about the memories we made.

I think about everything we learned together.

And yes, there are things I would do differently.

But I am incredibly thankful that I had those years with my children.

Homeschooling wasn’t just something we did.

It became part of our family’s story.

And now that I’ve reached the end of that chapter, I can finally look back and realize just how much homeschooling taught me, too.

What Has Homeschooling Taught You?

Now I’d love to hear from you.

If you’ve been homeschooling for years, what is something homeschooling taught you that you never expected when you started?

And if you’re just beginning—or you’re still trying to decide whether homeschooling is right for your family—what are you most nervous about?

Leave me a comment below.

Maybe one of us who’s already walked that road can help make your first few steps a little easier. ❤️

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